James Bauer – What Men Secretly Want

James Bauer – What Men Secretly Want

Let me ask… have you ever:1Had a feeling that things were going well with your man, but somehow knew that something was wrong and had a feeling of dread that you can’t quite place?2Tried to have “The Talk” with your boyfriend to figure out the status of your relationship only to have him suddenly go cold at even the mention of commitment? 3Been in a relationship with an amazing guy before he suddenly became distant and his whole attitude changed, and before you knew it he was gone?
4Felt things were going great with a guy, (could be your boyfriend or husband) and you want to do everything in your power to make sure the relationship not only survives, but thrives?5Wondered if he really loves you, or if he’s bored in the relationship?6Just wanted to make a guy see that inside you’re the perfect girl for him, and together you would make the perfect couple and live an amazing life together?

Well, you’re definitely not alone in these experiences. As a relationship consultant, I hear unfortunate stories like this all the time. But when the problem hit a little too close to home, I knew I had to do something about it.

You’re about to discover a deep-seated “Gap” in communication that very few women (or men) understand. This same Gap has the biggest impact on the success or failure of a relationship, yet hardly anyone talks about it.

The good news is, if you know how to bridge The Gap, it’s possible for you to enjoy a rare kind of relationship most women simply can’t imagine; a bright and vivid romance that makes life exciting and worth living.

The Lunch ThatChanged EverythingSince I’m a relationship consultant, I get asked for relationship advice from a lot from my female friends.A short time ago, I agreed to sit down for lunch with a woman that I have known for a long time.She was experiencing an emotionally painful situation that I had heard of many times before. She had met a new guy at work. At first things were exciting and seemed to be going really well.
It started with tantalizing phone calls and texts, and soon moved on to romantic dates she would rush home to tell her friends about. For weeks she thought everything was going perfect. They would spend all night talking and they would “text flirt” all throughout the workday.One day, while on a date with him, she couldn’t help but feel so good about how things were going. They had an amazing, romantic night together. They gushed on the phone that night about what the future held and the night ended really well.

That’s where things went bad…During their next nightly call, he suddenly became very silent. She had never known him to be like that before; he was usually so cheerful and romantic. She tried to figure out what was wrong, but he just said he was tired and had to go.But that was just the beginning.She tried to call him the next day and again he ended the call a lot sooner than normal. Soon her texts started to go unanswered and before long they stopped all together. She never heard from him again.She didn’t want to tell her friends about it because of how many times she had told them he was “the one” and how amazing everything was.
That night she went to sleep wondering if she was just terminally flawed when it came to dating. Maybe she was just meant to be single forever and never know what it was like to have a secure and loving relationship.The next morning she woke up to the same feeling of dread and loneliness she had had for years. She was in so much pain she couldn’t even go to work, so she decided it was time to call me up.It was hard for me to hear. There was so much pain in her voice.Unfortunately I hear this story all the time.The worst part is, she didn’t even know what she was doing wrong or why he didn’t call back. I care deeply about this girl, and I was very familiar with this specific problem.As we sat there and talked, an idea struck me like a lightning bolt.That past week I had been trying to understand and solve a similar, but unrelated problem for a course I was creating primarily for men. With a surge of excitement, it suddenly occurred to me that both issues were actually very related. It all had to do with a primal driving force in all men that few, if any, are even aware of.Using a little creative problem solving, I quickly formulated a simple solution I was confident would work for any situation.The answer had been right in front of me. It’s something that I now call The Respect Principle, and it’s the biggest key for getting any man to want to truly commit to you.Once I told her about the insight and solution I had (which really only took about ten minutes to explain) she completely lit up. I didn’t expect her to believe me so quickly, but she seemed to instinctively get it. She knew what she had to do differently and she was eager to put her new knowledge into action.For her it became a story with a fairy tail ending.She’s now engaged to an amazing man that adores her for who she is because she actually understands the way he thinks and the way he experiences relationships.But for so many women out there, things just aren’t as easy. They don’t understand this vital principle.The root of the problem actually comes from a deep misunderstanding that you see everywhere in the media and popular shows and magazines.Sometimes it happens during the attraction phase, and sometimes the same root problem manifests much later when talk of marriage and commitment comes up.But the good news is: It’s not your fault, and there’s a clear and effective plan for easily overcoming the problem.The key is understanding men on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say to a man affect him much more than you might think. (When you know how to do this, you’ll be able to deeply connect with a man, and powerfully attract him.)

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